meouch | IC CONTACT.

[ this was not how he wanted to fly skarmory again, to be honest. but with that out of the way, he'll mount the bird as he'd done before — with a little more wincing than before. it's a bit difficult with how sore and bruised his body is (he wasn't thrown across paris this time, though he was thrown), but he manages.

adrien'll stay quiet for the ride's duration, holding shakily onto skarmory and directing him as needed, if needed.

this sure was a good bonding exercise. ]

[ the ride is swift and silent, skarmory keeping his thoughts to himself. he's had his time to mourn his trainer's passing, but it doesn't seem like that was enough closure. what does he do now? how can he become stronger? will he ever be able to forget steven?

he's at a loss to answer all of those questions, barring the last one. he could never forget a trainer like that. steven was the one that taught him to tolerate humans; to see them as a little more than just a species that pokémon shared the world with. it's why he wants to stay with adrien - if he can try to foster a bond with him, maybe things won't be so lonely.

when they arrive at adrien's apartment, skarmory will make its perch on the roof. if this was going to be home... maybe it should consider making a nest. ]

[ how exactly do you come back from the dead?

the question never really occurred to steven - waking up in the nexus code was surprising enough. seeing that tendril coming towards him and feeling the momentary, indescribably pain before everything went dark... he thought that would have been his final moment.

but, as cerealia continues to do, he's been proven wrong. after exiting ViViD as quickly as possible (quite a task without his pokemon, as he's come to learn), he finds that his wounds healed as if there hadn't been any in the first place. the only reminder of what had happened are his memories and the blood on his clothes; without the latter, he swears he could convince himself that it was all some sort of nightmare.

the first thing he does is head to his apartment to freshen up - he has responsibilities to attend and people to apologize to, and he doesn't want them to worry more than they might be already. in a crisp suit with not a trace of blood to be found, he heads out to meet the people who he suspects had been burdened by his death.

with adrien, he knows that it's going to be particularly difficult. he hadn't seen him, but the voice that he had heard before blacking out completely was undoubtedly his. he's unwittingly scarred the teen, and he's not sure if he can ever fully forgive himself for it.

he entertained the idea of avoiding him, but that couldn't be done realistically or maturely - they'd cross paths eventually, and he'd just be delaying the inevitable. getting it done right away would make it the least painful for both of them. he's had his enthusiastic reuinion with skarmory outside of his apartment building, returning him to his poké ball for rest before entering the complex.

once there, he knocks, then waits. ]

[ things haven't gotten easier, but he's slipped into a kind of routine with skarmory that's made things a little easier. plagg doesn't bother to hide, either; which is all for the better, given he felt he was entitled to a bit of freedom after how far both him and adrien had been pushed during the entire ordeal. the teen couldn't exactly disagree.

adrien's at the table with plagg (who's quite content with a plate of camembert) when the knocking on the door comes. with a look to the kwami (reaction: deep sigh, then hiding) he moves to the door, a multitude of emotions still running him through but somewhat less than when they'd first gotten back.

... that all changes when he opens the door, of course. he knows how this place works by now, but that doesn't mean he's not frozen in place by the sight of steven there, not bloody or stabbed through and alive.

the words don't come immediately. the relief and the guilt and other indescribable things do. but when he can finally put together one single thing, a name, it comes out shakily: ]

—S...Steven.

[ oh.

it's almost like that was just a bad nightmare that he repeats occasionally.

hello again you big buttface. ]

...Hi.

[ smooth. but really, he isn't sure what he can say to adrien, let alone what to say at all. this hasn't gotten any easier with any of the people he's encountered that were affected by his death. this isn't something that you can prepare for.

the boy looks shocked - he needs to give him something a little more than a greeting. come on. ]

I'm as surprised as you are... But I wanted to come here. [ pause. ] To apologize.

[ sorry for giving you ptsd??? possibly???? ]

[ YOU DON'T JUST SAY SORRY FOR THAT????

adrien has Issues. issues about not being good enough, issues about failing, and there's so many cases back home where he's thrown himself in front of ladybug because the thought of losing anyone on his watch was just. not possible, especially when it was someone he cared about.

and then there was steven. ]

I— no, I'm the one who needs to— [ ah. there's a whole bumbling mess of things in his head that he can't organize or deal with and how is he supposed to put into words i'm sorry for letting you die i'm sorry for not being good enough i'm sorry i couldn't do anything when he shouldn't ever have an opportunity to do so?

if this wasn't the place it was, steven would be dead. he knows that. that makes things harder.

honestly, he's already cried about this. he doesn't want to cry in front of steven. the only thing that would serve to do is make him feel worse, and that's the last thing adrien wants. it wasn't his fault. it was... his, for being too slow? this place, for dragging them somewhere that dangerous?

he might cry about this again. adrien bites his lip. moves to the side, and looks to the ground. ] —Do you want to... I mean. Come in first? Please?

[ and just don't cry when he walks by you can do it adrien you can do it ]

[ please don't cry adrien he has like zero experience in dealing with crying kids... not that he wouldn't blame him. all of this was emotionally taxing for everyone involved, and he found himself swallowing down quite the lump in his throat when he found metagross wandering in the colony. ]

Of course.

[ without another word, he'll step into the apartment. from the sound of adrien's voice, he wants him to - who is he to deny him that? ]

[ yeah well steven deserves some difficulty considering he got skewered.

.... but when he walks in, adrien closes the door and doesn't move beyond that. he stays leaning against it, gaze still on the ground and hands clenched behind his back. fortunately for steven, he doesn't cry — he squeezes his eyes shut and forces that back with a breath.

a small silence, and then: ]

I'm sorry. I couldn't...

[ couldn't everything. plagg said it wasn't his fault, but he was a superhero, and he was there and he couldn't do anything. what was that? ]

[ oh, but that won't do. steven may be uncertain, but he's sure of one thing - he isn't going to have adrien blame himself for this. he won't stand for it.

he was ready to move to the kitchen to have a seat, but not with adrien like that. he'll approach him with slight hesitance, letting out a breath that sounds dangerously like a sigh when they're face to face. ]

You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Adrien.

[ it's not like adrien shrinks back when steven approaches, but the guilt still itches a bit and when he comes closer it itches worse. adrien doesn't expect steven to agree — of course not, but he didn't have the whole story. ]

That's not true. You— I wasn't fast enough, and because of that you...

[ died. the word doesn't leave his throat, yet it's obvious what he means. ugh. adrien shakes his head, willing the image of that time away.

his next words are quieter. ]

You're okay, right?

[ that's the important thing right now. ]

[ he knows adrien can be shy, but it's strange to see him like this. he knows the reason, and his own guilt makes him regret every action he took back then. it wasn't like him to be so... careless. what on earth was he trying to prove by launching that kind of attack?

it's one of the questions that have been biting at him since he revived, but he keeps that hidden. he doesn't want adrien to worry more. ]

But I'm not your responsibility. I was reckless, and there were consequences for it. It's that simple.

[ as blue eyes meet green, his expression is calm and practiced. but he's not here to be an emotionless monolith, so his lips curve into a faint smile to reassure him. ]

I'm fine. There's no need to worry any more.

[ that's a lie. there's the glitching, the momentary phasing through solid objects, the thing that he knows is watching, even if it disappears the moment he turns his attention to it...

but that all goes unsaid. ]

[ he shakes his head.

he's aware that steven's not his responsibility. he knows steven can take care of himself, but still. adrien takes the safety of everyone in his general vicinity as his responsibility anyway — that's how it was back home, that's how it was here. doubly so with people he knew.

it's hesitant, but he does make eye contact. the smile is something, but it's still not enough to settle the gripping feeling in his chest.

in the end, however, this isn't about him. this is about steven, and he's sure no amount of convincing would get him to shrug off the fact that the man he trusted died in front of him because he was far too slow. ]

... Are you sure? [ so he asks that instead. to say steven was fine right after that seemed too simple, too... ] I... don't want you to say the things you think I want to hear. I want you to be honest—I can handle it.

[ that's always what he wants.

the irony of that statement isn't lost on him, either. ]

I'm absoutely positive. I was a little shaken up at first... but it's passed.

[ he's lying through his teeth now. it's not something he likes to make a habit out of, but he's not about to saddle adrien's mind with an even bigger burden. he's far too young to have something like that weighing down on him. the glitching, the faces... they'll go away with time. probably. ]

I know you can. That's what makes you so admirable.

[ now he's telling the truth. not everyone can be as brave as he was in the face of danger, coming out of it all with his wits about him. things like that leave an impression on steven. ]

[ admirable, huh...? he doesn't feel like it right now. not with steven dying and with the flamine telling him what it did. he just feels a bit overwhelmed, unable to do anything about the situation with steven then and the situation now with ladybug, his father, everyone being apparently dead. nothing to do besides wait.

everything besides that he takes at face value.

there's another moment of hesitation as the what ifs ebbed away slowly and the relief washed in again; he insisted, and if steven said he's okay even after that, adrien'll believe him.

so, steven's fine... he didn't lose steven.

and with that conclusion settled firmly in his mind, the everything collecting the past couple of days bubbles over, and he takes one step, and then another, before moving forward quickly to hug the older man. this is another one of those times where he shouldn't, but— he wants to, so there we go.

don't mind him. ]

Edited 2016-02-22 05:53 (UTC)

[ oh.

he's surprised, but after giving it a moment's thought, maybe he shouldn't be. wanting comfort after the last few days' events is a completely normal reaction, especially for someone who may or may not be used to things like that. he feels for adrien, and he finds himself wishing that there was something he could do.

he hesitates for a moment upon being embraced, wondering how he should react. he's not entirely used to any kind of physical affection... but it's natural to return something like this, isn't it? it'll give adrien the comfort he seems to be seeking out, and hey. maybe it'll make himself feel a little better, too.

he returns the hug, gentle but firm. ]

I take back what I said. I don't think it's fair to say that you shouldn't worry... But try not to. I'm not going anywhere. I promise.

[ his voice is soft, hoping to be some kind of relief to him. don't make promises you can't keep, mr. stone. ]

Edited 2016-02-22 15:02 (UTC)

[ considering what adrien's used to, that steven is even trying to reassure him helps, especially since he's aware he might've jumped the gun with the hug a bit. but as he's being hugged back, maybe that wasn't such a bad decision after all?

though maybe he is feeling a little shy about it since it was such a sudden thing to do, and the heat rises to his cheeks at that. it's not really the impression he wants to leave on someone he thinks a lot of... but here they are. ]

I think you're the admirable one.

[ that's what adrien mumbles back first, genuinely. the one being reassured should be steven, considering what he went through.

when adrien pulls away, he rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand. he isn't crying, no, but he needs to Relax. ]

... Thanks. I'm... probably gonna keep worrying, to be honest, but as long as you're fine that's all that matters. [ so he'll push away the guilt right now, and the shock hasn't gone, yet things are settling. and that's manageable enough. ] Sorry, you're probably tired, huh?

[ okay, yeah, it was a little gun jumpy for him. but it's cool, seeing as it did actually make him feel a little better. it's not nearly as awkward as he thought it would be, which is a pleasant surprise.

he'll let adrien be the one to pull away from it first, meeting his eyes with that same smile from before. it's small, but a with a little more sincerity behind it than his usual polite ones. if anything, he's glad to know that adrien sees him that way.

he keeps a reassuring hand on his shoulder, though. ]

That's all I can ask for. [ and a light chuckle at his words. ] A bit, but I can't let myself rest just yet. I still have some unfinished business to take care of.

[ unfinished business...? ah, steven's probably got more people to see. or, at least, that's what he... assumes is what's most likely going on. this is honestly still a little surreal, and there's still a tumbling of emotions in his chest, but it's easier now that steven's really here. he can focus on that beyond anything else. ]

Is it anything I can help with? [ in case there's anything beyond just visiting that steven needs to get taken care of. adrien's a little eager to ask this, for obvious reasons. he... wants to help; even if he's not making it obvious, the weight on him won't go away for a while.

he blinks, realizing something quite suddenly. ] Wait... did you see Skarmory already?

[ that's... an important note. he wants to know that the pokémon under his care's got the relief that comes with knowing his trainer's okay. ]

[ yup. he's got four of his team members under his belt, but that still leaves the other half with their respective humans. he'll need to take some guesses as to where they are and who they're with, but he's got a fairly good idea of where to look. ]

Nothing immediately comes to mind... unless you'd like to keep me company along the way?

[ it's not much, but he'll give adrien the choice if he wants to come along. at his question, he nods and reaches to his belt, taking skarmory's poké ball in hand. ]

We met up outside. He's taking a much-needed break, but I could tell that he was satisfied with your care in my absence. You have my gratitude for taking that on.

[ ah, good. there's another small hint of "okay" that comes with that, too, if the small smile he gives the pokéball is any indication. ]

It's the least I could do.

[ and skarmory wanted that arrangement too, so who was he to say no?

adrien's a little more pensive when it comes to answering steven's question, however. the honest answer is yes, of course, since he wants to make sure steven is okay and be there to support him if necessary — but at the same time he's not sure if steven needs space. ]

... And, um, I don't mind coming along if you want. It's up to you, though.

I wouldn't mind at all. I said it before, didn't I? You're good company.

[ even if he's tired from the ordeals of the past week... it might be nice to have someone familiar to help re-adjust to, you know, not being dead. and from the looks of things, it's what adrien wants, too. ]

[ haha. that gets a worn smile from him. steven did say that, and sure, that's thinking back on the events from a couple of days ago that he honestly... doesn't want to, the fact that steven said that is one of the brighter points. ]

You're saying that even after the sudden hugging?

[ that's his light joke, even if he is still a bit self-conscious about that and everything. but the approval does help. ]

[ once you take away the dying, the dehydration, the hunger, the exposure to the elements, the monsters, and the intense mental trauma, being underground wasn't so bad! there were some good times, man. gooooood times. ]

I wouldn't quite call it a deal-breaker. You're safe for now.

[ he finds himself smiling, too. this is why he likes you, kid. ]

[ look, sometimes you've got to compartmentalize what's happening to keep from kaboooming. that steven's smiling is... nice, and adrien is honestly relieved, more relieved than words can say--that for a moment he forgets the heaviness and the guilt as he thinks, again, that he didn't lose steven. ]

For now, huh?

[ there's a pause that adrien fills with an obvious pensiveness.

and then, quietly and heartfelt with his head slightly dipped: ]

... I'm really glad you're back.

[ he takes note of that pensiveness, and hopes that he's at least managed to make him feel a little better. it'll take some time for both of them to get back to complete normalcy, but this is a start.

he hesitates for a moment, but he takes that dipped head as an opportunity to give his hair a little ruffle. it's brief, but a gesture of familiarity. ]

It's good to be back.

(no subject)

meouch - 2016-02-28 00:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

geophile - 2016-02-28 01:08 (UTC) - Expand

IC CONTACT.

no subject

/2

5/29

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)